SELF

Human, mostly

Photo of author at Minnehaha Falls. Minneapolis, Minnesota, U.S. ©Rachael Ann Sand

Greetings! I’ve procrastinated writing this piece long enough. It’s time to dive in and trust my audience is willing to go with the flow. There’s a good chance I’ll obsessively edit, both before and after publishing. You’re welcome to check back periodically and see what’s new. One day you’ll be able to say you knew me when I was a fledgling writer — before I became the most successful wordsmith of our time.


HUMOR

Healing the world one giggle, guffaw or chuckle at a time

Photo by author. ©Rachael Ann Sand 2020.

I’ve discovered the joy in sharing humor and even earned a Top Writer badge in this category. It’s a very prestigious badge allowing access to experiences and secret underground clubs I’m not at liberty to share here. More importantly, my readers have laughed and experienced the resulting dose of endorphins also known as feel good hormones.

Browse the categories and take a deep dive into my funnybone ticklers. Send up red sparks if you need to be rescued from the rabbit hole.

My Greatest Hits

YouTube Parody Videos and Scripts

Go Fund Me a Laugh Track


NEWSLETTER

When a ship full of pirates can’t stop laughing about butts

Image by MuddyUm co-editor, Sara Zadrima

If the headline drew you in, you’re one of us, for better or worse. Fart, toot, poop, penis, boobs, ass, butt, dick, derrière — these words have an undeniable power to produce giggles and smirks at any age. They also have the power to get a person slapped in the face. It’s all about context.

This asstastic collection of funnies was inspired by MuddyUm co-editor Sarah Paris. Her butt prompt got our rowdy ship of pirates to leave the poop deck and type our most hilarious, em-bare-ass-ing stories about the most shit-upon body part. …


PARENTING

There are countless ways to be a mother, for a moment or for a lifetime

Photo by 🇸🇮 Janko Ferlič on Unsplash

Trigger warnings: loss of child, miscarriage, adoption, suicide

To mothers experiencing planned and unplanned pregnancies.

To those who chose motherhood through adoption.

To mothers who never met their child and ache with what-ifs.

To the mothers who were elated at the news of pregnancy, those who were terrified, and those who felt both emotions simultaneously.

To future mothers and the mothers we have lost.

To mothers overflowing with love and those who feel they are running on empty.

To teachers who are mother figures to countless children.

To mothers who didn’t feel loved as a child, who experienced abuse, neglect…


SEX AND TECHNOLOGY

Newly single nerd seeks sexy tech-savvy lady to share fortune

Photo by Rock Staar on Unsplash

Bill Gates Sexy Techies™ Dating Profile

I’m a newly single, self-described nerd seeking a sexy, tech-savvy lady to share my massive fortune. My fortune isn’t the only thing about me that’s massive — that’s what she said.

Don’t mind the woman in my profile pic, we’re not together anymore. I chose this photo so you can imagine yourself in her place, smiling alongside your filthy rich lover.


THIS HAPPENED TO ME

And unfortunately, I saw his peanuts

Photo by Kyle Van Alstyne on Unsplash

“Auntie Rachie, girls have vaginas and boys have peanuts!” My toddler-age niece proudly proclaimed her newfound knowledge as I walked in. Surprised and amused, I wasn’t prepared to offer pronunciation lessons. While we’re on the topic of private parts, I’ll refer to my niece as Junebug, for privacy purposes.

When Junebug witnessed Mommy changing an infant boy’s diaper, her insatiable toddler curiosity led to a conversation every parent looks forward to — Anatomy 101. Mommy told her the ‘proper’ names. When Junebug so confidently translated penis to peanuts the adults found it so endearing we didn’t correct her.

My first…


HUMOR

My Birthie Stick honest review

Screenshot by author from odditymall.com

Throughout my pregnancy I shared as much as possible on social media — baby bump nudes, live streams of my ultrasound appointments, and details about my bodily functions. I’m collecting copies of everything in a digital file to gift my child on their eighteenth birthday. Tears spring to my eyes just thinking about how special it will be to share those moments.

As my expected delivery date grew nearer I became obsessed with finding a way to culminate my pregnancy journey with an epic social media post. It must have been a divine intervention that led me to the answer…


NEWSLETTER

Weird, ridiculous, eccentric— we’ve written about it

Photo by Ivana Cajina on Unsplash

The month began with April Fools’ Day and MuddyUm humorists have been keeping the foolhardy fun going. We’ve got enough laughs to get you through to May — and beyond. Grab your bottle of rum, or water if it’s your beverage of choice, and dive in.

The story links are ‘friend links’ so you can share them with friends who may enjoy these stories, paywall free! They don’t even have to be friends — they can be your enemies, frenemies, family, co-workers, or the neighborhood gossip.

Sex, drugs and ambiguous ads

There is no limit to our imaginations and inspirations. When Captain Susan stumbled upon…


FUN AND GAMES

Play along with timeless MuddyUm prompts

Photo by Ryan Snaadt on Unsplash

Are you tired of writing in fun-free niches? Has it been too long since your funny bone connected to your finger bones for a writing sesh? Is writer’s block your worst enemy?

Never fear — the good crew of MuddyUm pirates will keep you afloat with silly, hilarious, and relatable humor prompts. Keep your phalanges and giggle boxes in tip-top-ship-shape with these laughter generators. Every sense of humor is welcome to submit and you’ll hear from an editor — yay or nay — within 24 hours. …


Happy to meet you, Becca. I also love spending time in nature and taking photographs of its creatures and wonders.

I haven't played sudoku in years. It would be good for my brain to play periodically :)

Rachael Ann Sand

Passionate about the next generation of all living things. Sharing life lessons & experiences with humor and love. https://ko-fi.com/rachaelann

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store